So, you're planning a small wedding or elopement (hell yeah!), and now it's time to write your vows. No pressure, right? Just a few words that sum up your love, commitment, and all the wild adventures ahead. Easy… right?
Okay, I get it—staring at a blank page can feel intimidating. But don’t worry! I’ve got you. Whether you’re exchanging vows on a mountaintop, by the ocean, or deep in the woods, this guide will help you write vows that feel true to you.
Let’s dive in and make this process fun, not stressful. Because your elopement isn’t about following traditions—it’s about creating something real, raw, and ridiculously amazing.
Why Writing your own vows is totally worth it
Sure, you could go with traditional vows. But if you’re eloping, chances are you’re not the “repeat-after-me” kind of couple. Writing your own personal vows makes your ceremony more personal, more emotional, and way more you.
Think about it—this is the one part of your elopement where time slows down, where it’s just the two of you, speaking from the heart. These words will be the ones you hold onto for the rest of your lives.
No pressure. (But also, kinda.)
How to write your own wedding Vows: A step by step guide
Start with the Basics
How to start your wedding vows: before diving into the deep poetic stuff, answer these simple questions:
• What do you love most about your partner?
• When did you know they were the one?
• What promises do you want to make for your life together?
• What’s something totally random but adorable about them?
• What do they do that makes you laugh until you cry?
Write down anything that comes to mind—this is your brainstorming stage, and nothing is too silly or small.
(If vows feel a little awkward for you, you can even just pick a few questions like the ones mentioned above and answer those to each other instead.)
Get inspired by your adventures together
Your love story isn’t like anyone else’s—so your vows shouldn’t be either. Think back on your favorite adventures together:
• The first big trip you took
• A hike that made you question your life choices halfway up
• The time you got caught in a rainstorm and laughed instead of panicked
Use those memories! They make your vows feel authentic and remind you both of the journey that led you here.
Make Promises that matter
Vows = promises. They don’t have to be dramatic or overly poetic—just real. A mix of deep, meaningful commitments and lighthearted, everyday ones is perfect.
Examples:
“I promise to always support your wildest dreams, even if they involve climbing another mountain at 4 AM.”
“I vow to always share my snacks with you… unless it’s the last bite of my PB&J.”
“I promise to be your adventure buddy for life, no matter where the trail leads.”
Make it you. There are no rules here!
don't put a limit on it
Aim for a couple of minutes of spoken vows. Especially if is just the two of you and no guests or ceremony. Truly say what you want without putting a limit on it. Embrace this whole moment to confess your love.
Write, Read, Edit (Repeat as needed)
Once you have a rough draft, read it out loud. Does it sound natural? Does it feel like something you would say? If not, tweak it!
Pro tip: Don’t stress about perfect wording. Your partner loves you for you—not because you sound like a Shakespearean poet.
How to End Personal Wedding Vows
A Simple, Powerful Promise
• End with a heartfelt, straightforward statement that sums up everything you just said.
• Example: “No matter where life takes us, I promise to always choose you.”
A Look to the Future
• Finish with something about your dreams and adventures ahead.
• Example: “I can’t wait to explore this life with you—one trail, one sunrise, and one adventure at a time.”
A Touch of Humor
• If you’ve been weaving humor into your vows, bring it full circle with a fun ending.
• Example: “I vow to love you forever… even when you steal all the blankets.”
A Meaningful Quote or Line from a Favorite Song/Book
• If words aren’t your thing, borrow a line that resonates with your relationship.
• Example: “As John Muir said, ‘The mountains are calling, and I must go’—and I promise to always go with you.”
A Shared Adventure Promise
• Make a final vow that ties into the adventurous life you’re building together.
• Example: “From mountaintops to ocean waves, from quiet moments to wild adventures—I vow to love you through it all.”
A Final “I Love You” and “Let’s Do This” Moment
• Keep it simple and strong.
• Example: “I love you endlessly, and I can’t wait to spend forever with you. Let’s do this!”
The key is to end on a note that feels right for you—whether it’s emotional, funny, or adventurous.
Common Vow-Writing Mistakes and how to avoid them
Trying to be too fancy–Just be yourself.
Winging it–Nerves are real. Write them down!
Comparing to someone else vows–your love is unique, your vows should be too.
Waiting until the last minute–future you will thank you later. Plus it will help put your mind at ease leading up to the big day.
How to deliver your vows like a pro
Write them down, no one is expecting you to memorize them. Vow books are such fun and cute ways to add your little touches into your day with details.
Speak slowly. You don't have to rush. I prep you for this moment on your day to really get you in the zone and focused on each other. Let the words sink in.
Take deep breaths, this is the moment you've been waiting for. Be full present and let yourself feel the emotions.
Look at your partner. This is for them, forget about everything else around you. Be in the moment.
Bonus: A Sample Vow templete for Inspiration
“From the moment we first met, I knew you were my favorite adventure. I promise to always encourage your wildest dreams, to never complain (too much) about early morning hikes, and to always be your biggest cheerleader. I vow to love you fiercely, laugh with you endlessly, and walk beside you on every trail—literal or metaphorical—that life throws our way. You are my home, my adventure, and my best friend. And I can’t wait for forever with you.”
Feel free to steal lines, tweak them, or use this as inspiration!
How to Write Your Own Vows with a Twist–Make it unique and true to you
Not every couple wants to write traditional vows, and that’s totally okay. Here are some unique and adventurous vow alternatives that you can incorporate into your elopement day:
1. Write Your Vows Together Ahead of Time
Instead of keeping vows a surprise, sit down together before your elopement and craft them as a shared experience. You can write a single set of vows that you both say to each other or create matching vows with personal touches. This makes the process less stressful and more intentional.
2. Answer Meaningful Questions Instead of Writing Vows
If writing isn’t your thing, consider answering questions about your relationship and love for each other on your elopement day. Here are some prompts to guide you:
• What do you love most about your partner?
• What is your favorite memory together?
• What promises do you want to make for your future?
• How has your partner changed your life?
• When did you know your partner was the one?
You can answer these aloud to each other or write them down and exchange them in a journal.
3. Exchange Letters Instead of Traditional Vows
Instead of reciting vows, write heartfelt letters to each other and read them privately or during your ceremony. You can even keep the letters sealed until the moment you exchange them for an extra layer of anticipation.
4. Read a Favorite Poem, Song Lyrics, or Book Passage
Not into writing your own vows? No problem! Choose a poem, song lyrics, or a book passage that represents your love story. You can each choose something for the other to read, or pick one together.
5. Create a “Call and Response” Style Vow Exchange
Rather than reading long vows, create short and sweet “call and response” vows.
For example:
• Partner 1: “Do you promise to always go on adventures with me?”
• Partner 2: “I do.”
• Partner 1: “Do you promise to always make me coffee in the morning?”
• Partner 2: “I do.”
It’s a fun and interactive way to share your promises!
6. Make a Time Capsule Together
Write down private promises to each other and place them in a time capsule with other meaningful items like photos, letters, or even a little keepsake from your elopement day. Set a future date to open it—maybe on your first or fifth anniversary!
7. Do a Silent Vow Exchange
For couples who prefer a deeply personal moment, consider a silent vow exchange. Write your vows down, stand facing each other, and read them privately. You’ll still get to experience the emotions without needing to speak them aloud.
8. Create a Shared Adventure Promise
Since you’re eloping, why not make a shared adventure vow? Write down places you want to visit together, hikes you want to do, or activities you promise to always make time for. It’s a great way to blend vows with future adventures!
Final Thoughts: Writing Your Vows Should Be FUN
Your vows aren’t about impressing anyone—they’re about speaking from the heart. Whether they’re short and sweet, poetic and deep, or filled with inside jokes, they should reflect your love story exactly as it is.
And if you’re still feeling stuck? Take a deep breath, go on a walk, and just start jotting things down. The words will come.
Need Help Planning Your Elopement?
As an adventure elopement photographer, I’m not just here to take photos—I’m here to help you craft an unforgettable day, including moments like your vows. If you’re ready to start planning, reach out and let’s make magic happen!
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